hey world...

please don't be so judgmental. i'm only 21.

on the verge

hope everyones Christmas was wonderful. now that the holidays are over i feel like i can breathe again. things are slowing down, which will get boring after a couple months. ha ha. but for the time being it's nice.

i have a good feeling about the next few months. i feel like everything is on the verge of becoming something amazing. it's hard to explain, but i can just feel it. i can't wait to see what's coming.

earlier in the month i had a friends birthday party to go to, which was a ton of fun. there were tons of people there, which is expected. this is the type of friend that everyone loves and cherishes. he lights up the room when he walks in and makes my day on a regular basis. if he wasn't taken, he'd be mine. ha ha. dani came with me, which was fun. it was pouring and my hair quickly decided it didn't want to be straight, which is why there's only a couple pictures up (one of me and the birthday boy and one of dani and i) from the party. please ignore our hair. after the party dani and i went to eat. a good night of fun company.

here's a mix of party and christmas pictures.

the stocking my grandmother made me when i was little

my grandmothers homemade toffee that she mailed me. super yummy.

and my present from my brother...

the holidays...

mean parties, friends, family, food, fun...and a lot more work. i've been really busy lately with all kinds of different things and haven't had a chance to post.

lately i've gotten back into taking pictures of things that i do, or things that just strike me. they're not the greatest pictures because i usually use my blackberry camera, but i just got a new camera so, hopefully, from here on out i'll be posting better pictures.

the past few weeks have been a whirlwind of fun:

bliss

have you ever had a moment where everything felt perfect? a moment of bliss? a moment you wish you could live in forever?

my heart misses this moment.

'and i still don't even know what i need to do to fix myself, you see. but i'm trying now.'

the handwritten note

i want to bring back the trend of the handwritten note. it's so much more convenient to send a text, e-mail, tweet, or facebook the person, but taking the time to stop and write a note or letter by hand is so much more meaningful. i'm not saying we should abandon the convenience of modern technology, but when we think of someone and want to know how they're doing why not write a little letter and send it to them? we all know it's fun to get mail (that we actually want). or thank you notes. it shows the person you truly do appreciate what they did.

from now on i'm going to try to send a handwritten note/letter/thank you/card whenever it's possible. i already know who my first letter is for...

project runway

i know this is over and done with, but better late than never.

i don't know how many people follow project runway, but quite a bit of my friends and co-workers do and discussions of the finale and winner have been heated. i just want to come out and say, as everyone i have spoken to has said:

Mondo was robbed!

gretchen, or ganola as myself and dani not-so-affectionately refer to her as, didn't deserve the title of winner. this post from the blog Made summed up my feelings pretty well.

i hope mondo has a very successful and long career, he earned it.

this is my iPod

it is my lover. i take it everywhere with me. it keeps me entertained when i am bored. it keeps me company when i am lonely. it comforts me when i am sad. and it calms me when i am upset.

it is also signed by one of my favorite men, and lyrical genius, jesse thomas lacey. jesse is the frontman of my favorite band, brand new. that signature reminds me of that amazing day that courtney and i had the opportunity to meet him, something of a rarity. it was the first time i have EVER seen courtney speechless.

i've had my iPod for a few years now and it's sadly starting to show signs of failure. i've been looking at new ones, but the comforts of my trusty old nano are just not there.

maybe my old iPod can hang on just a little longer until i can bring myself to get a new one.

halloween 2010

so four different ideas for halloween costumes finally hit me...two days before i needed a costume. it was too late, and i didn't have time to put my ideas together [most of the ideas required me to draft patterns and sew]. i'm pretty pissed i didn't get these ideas sooner, but on the bright side, i have options for next year.

without time to make a costume, i broke down and bought one. i didn't really choose the costume, it was pretty much just chosen out of convenience. my friend bought two different sizes of a costume, unsure of what her size would be, and i just bought the one she had left from her.

it was cute and involved a whip. haha. i was the ring leader of a circus. my favorite part of the costume was the little hat, that i spray glittered to give a little more pizzaz. not very creative, but at least i had a costume...

p.s. ignore my lovely dressform in the background. aka miss thang

clear lake, ca

this weekend i had my trip up to clear lake, california to visit some family. clear lake is about two hours from sacramento. we flew into sacramento and then rented a car to drive the rest of the way.

the weekend was short, but nice. it rained all weekend, which i loved. if it rained, pretty much nonstop, for three days here we'd be flooded beyond recognition! the only time i saw the sun was in the plane, when we got above the clouds.

clear lake is surrounded by several cute little towns and is the largest natural lake in the united states. every where we went was lake front, and it was all so beautiful. my dads sisters house sits on a hill above the lake and has a gorgeous view, from both the front and back of the house, of the lake. there is a little trail that leads down to the lake and boat launches behind the house. one day i decided to hike it. ouch. the trail is extremely steep and gave me a workout! but the view was worth it. all the wildlife was nice too!

it was great to visit and have a little, mellow vacation.

in the airport baggage claim

on the drive

view from the back of the house

a warning about the trail down to the lake

the lake and boat launches

phantom of the opera

my mom is a die-hard phantom of the opera fan. she loves it, it's her favorite play. she's lost track of how many times she's seen it, but it's in the double digits. because of her love for it i've seen it six or seven times throughout my life and could sing every word of every song.

for mothers day me and my sister bought my mom a ticket to see it at the pantages theatre in hollywood. my mom, myself, my sister and her husband went to see it yesterday. the play has been traveling for about thirteen years now and is supposedly in its final tour and retirement from travel.

if you haven't had a chance to see it, try to go. it's a magnificent play. i never get bored of seeing it. if you can't make it to the play, the movie does a pretty decent job of portraying the story [i won't tell you how many times i went to see the movie with my mom so she wouldn't have to go alone when it was in theaters].

the pantages is a beautiful theatre. one thing i always remember about it is the heavy, red velvet curtains. i always loved the way they draped and gathered as they rose. i also really love the elaborate designs on the ceiling.

the play was fantastic, as usual. the voices of the phantom and raoul were so powerful and amazing. it didn't hurt that raoul was played by an adorable, and straight, guy. he came out after the play, so me and my sister took a picture with him. yeah, lame, i know. haha. my sister made me crop her out of the picture, she said she looked like a toad. i thought she looked fine, but i cropped her out anyways because facing her wrath wasn't something i really wanted to do. and a side note: i have a HORRIBLE habit of hunching in pictures because i'm tall and i try to make myself the same height as the person i'm taking the picture with. i was in heels, and hunched a lot in the picture, succeeding in making myself look yucky. i'm still working on embracing my height and standing up straight in pictures.

i don't like pumpkin

halloween is approaching fast, and i have NO idea what to be! i usually have my costume thought up and picked out long before october even rolls around. this year i'm drawing a blank. i like to be something creative and usually make my costume or put it together myself. i can't remember the last time i bought a pre-made costume.

last year i was abby sciuto, the gothic lab tech from the tv show ncis. it was a hit and i was surprised by how many people recognized my costume!

i did have one idea for this years costume. i was thinking the stig from the british car show top gear. the only problem is that i'd have to find a white motorcycle helmet with a blacked out visor and i wouldn't be able to talk or take the helmet off all night, so i scratched that.

maybe it'll hit me...hopefully soon...

part of it all

sometimes realizing certain things can shatter your vision of reality. it makes you see a person, thing, or time differently. it can be for better, or for worse.

sometimes you see these things, but continue not to acknowledge them how they truly are. when the realization hits you, and you're ready to accept it, it can hurt. or it can be liberating.

right now it might hurt, but i knew it was like this the whole time. i just didn't want to see it.

i think i'm ready for change and i think a string of experiences has prepared me for this. as horrible as that second might have been, it prepared me for something bigger, and better.

i guess it's all part of growing and changing.

"don't kill yourself to raise the dead. it never works, you'll only end up joining them."

some of my favorite lyrics. it makes perfect sense and is some of the greatest advice, in my book anyway...

biffy clyro

while i was in idaho i entered an online contest to win biffy clyro tickets to their los angeles show (which was last night) and, to my complete surprise, i actually won. i got two free tickets to their show at the fold in bootleg theatre. i invited my sister and brother-in-law. again to my surprise, they said yes.

i haven't ever been to a show with my sister and wasn't sure how it would be, we have pretty different tastes in music. my sister said just as long as it's not yelling or screaming she'd go. ha ha. it ended up being a really good show and lots of fun. i even got a shout out on the biffy clyro facebook.

biffy clyro is a band from scotland that i discovered when they toured with manchester orchestra. they were awesome live, so i bought their cd at the show and later picked up a couple more of their albums. they are very well known throughout europe and other parts of the world. winning award after award for their albums and singles. it's a taste of something a little different. their accents don't come through too much when they sing, which is a little bit of a bummer. but to make up for it there is a whole lot of ginger going on. twin ginger, might i add. the bassist and drummer, james and ben johnston, are red headed twins. the band is headed by simon neil who plays guitar and sings.

the venue was small and hot, but i love intimate shows so the heat was worth it. sadly, my phone wouldn't zoom so my pictures aren't too terribly clear, but i did get a couple good ones when i braved it and pushed to the front during the last song. biffy clyro is a great live band with a good energy that gets a venue singing along at the top of their lungs.

portland-->boise

the second half of my trip to boise was fantastic too. the last time i had been was almost exactly one year ago. time flies! it was so good to see all of my family. my aunt from las vegas was visiting too so my grandparents had all their kids there with them and enjoyed it, a lot. they had family pictures done, and they turned out so amazingly cute.

i landed in boise on monday in the early afternoon and the first thing i noticed was the sun! having been lacking it for the weekend made me miss it, surprisingly. i think the humidity made me miss it. boise is such a green and beautiful city, i love it there. it feels like home to me. anywhere my family is, is home to me.

my little cousins didn't know i was coming, so we thought. turned out my grandma slipped and they heard her mention how they needed to pick me up from the airport. that's okay, i still love you grandma. ha ha. i went with my aunt to pick my cousins up from school that afternoon, and how i miss those big hugs, chatter, laughter, and happiness those little girls emanate! it's sad though, to see how fast they're growing and to know i'm missing so much of their lives.

it was a busy and fun week. we did a lot of things, one major thing being food! i didn't want to eat ever again by the time i got home. i think everyone was pretty miserably happy by the end of the week!

the week kind of went by as a blur. we did so much and just enjoyed spending time with each other and being on vacation. but here are the highlights: my aunt and myself went to the boise state campus to ask some questions and just see the campus. it's very pretty and interesting how it's so quiet but it's in downtown. it was a good trip and fun to see a college other than an art school. we did some shopping, of course! we also attended and helped out at my two younger cousins elementary school carnival. that was a lot of fun. it was a really big deal and there were a lot of people there. they had carnival games, face painting, hair 'dying', food, raffles, and prizes. i left with whiplash though, which is still bothersome. leave it to me to injure myself at a elementary school carnival! i spent a bit of time sewing while i was there. i had made my cousins some clothes and had to do final fittings and attach some straps. we had a little fashion show and photo shoot, which they loved. being there and walking my cousins to school every day was something i will always remember. those big hugs i got before they went to class were such a joy!

this trip was really special for me. i got to spend time with my grandparents and talk with them. the wisdom they have to offer me is priceless. if i could follow anyones example perfectly, it would be my grandparents. i admire and respect them so much. i miss them and cherish the memories i have of them being around while i was growing up. i had one conversation in particular with my grandparents that spoke volumes and really got me thinking and gave me some clarity. sometimes we find answers to questions we didn't even know we had.

the week was amazing, and i didn't want to come home when saturday rolled around. but we said our sad goodbyes and i headed home.

my grandma making her amazing chocolate chip cookies

we NEED one of these in california

my favorite part of the carnival: the local

station for the meridian fire department came out

kylie, sydney, ciara

having fun with the photoshoot :]

my grandparents build-a-bears. my grandpa told me they always

have to tell the bear to leave the bunny alone. ha ha.